Editor’s Note: This is a weekly column series by an anonymous Springfield College student. To reach the writer, contact The Springfield Student at email@example.com.
Well my sexy readers, the time has almost come. It is about that time where we get to kick back and relax while inhaling turkey and stuffing. Even the athletes have to break our diets every once in a while, right? There are so many beautiful things about being at home: showering without shoes on, waking up without an alarm, and best of all, knowing the first plate you pick up will be clean! Thank the pilgrims for a working dishwasher!
But in all seriousness, there are many ups and downs to being back at home after living at the maroon castle for so long. It’s always hard to readjust to living with your parents. They will be getting up for work far before your alarm would typically go off for your 11 a.m. class. They will be making one, yes one, entrée for dinner. No, they won’t have chicken salad (even though Cheney has been letting us down on that one lately), and no, Ron will NOT be making an appearance to cook your omelets at home every morning. Try to contain the tears.
But, there is one thing that is often harder to deal with when returning home. Many people, especially freshmen, don’t realize how different it will feel coming back to what they think is the same life that they left. Your best friends have made new best friends at their colleges. Your entire family has created a new lifestyle that, unfortunately, doesn’t include you. Even your former high school sports’ team has been able to carry on without you.
Often, the biggest change during Thanksgiving break involves romantic relationships. This is the most popular time of the year for long-distance couples to break up, earning this phenomenon the title of “Breaksgiving.”
There are a couple of warning signs that will pop up if you are on the lookout for Breaksgiving. There are no excuses over Breaksgiving, no obligations or distractions keeping your significant other from seeing you. If upon returning home, your lover is suddenly the most popular person on the planet, admit to yourself that they may be avoiding you. Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks for all of the wonderful mistakes that you’ve made while away at school, and more so, a time to discuss them with your partner. Secrets will come out like your grandpa’s teeth after dessert, and you better be ready to handle their consequences. No matter what side of the equation you’re on, this is messier than your crazy uncle carving the turkey. If you’re the one with secrets, try your best to be honest. At this point, there’s no reason to lie anymore, and ending on good terms should at least be attempted. If you are on the receiving side (of the information that is!), try not to judge too harshly. Accept what is being told to you, and remember all of your crazy college stories too! Your partner is being honest (better late than never), and it is now your time to shine. Let them sit and be the cranberry sauce while you enjoy your dark meat (of the turkey!).
If you are one of the lucky ones who get to enjoy your Thanksgiving break, breathe in each memorable moment. Indulge in the beautiful spread (of food guys, come on), remembering that many of the things on the table are aphrodisiacs, so here’s looking at you, pumpkin pie! Remember to butter your corn, eat the pie, and get your bird in the oven! Enjoy your break, and make sure to put that leftover cool whip to good use for me! Until next time, my sexy readers.