Every Sunday and Thursday for months, I made the trek from my cozy and warm LC to the Union for rehearsal for the Vagina Monologues. This past Sunday was the first time since October that I did not make such trek, and the reminder that I was not going to spend part of my evening upstairs in the Union left me with a strange mix of feelings.
At first, I was a bit sad. It was sad remembering that the Monologues and the rehearsals were over. I had gotten unreasonably comfortable with knowing that, when I entered Dodge Ballroom, I would be entering a room filled with women with the power of the world at their fingertips. Being around those women made me feel empowered; I longed for those rehearsals. Those two hours were an escape for me, and I felt safe there.
My feelings were not all sad, though; there was also a stroke of joy as I recalled the memories of the laughter and the tears. Being with those women made me happy in a way that I found difficult to feel elsewhere. I felt understood and I felt calm. There was no judgment, and these rehearsals gave me a space to forget anything and everything else that had been bothering me prior to entering the student union.
I also felt proud. I felt proud that I had the chance to participate in an event that I knew would impact the people who came to see the show. I knew the message would be well-received by most, while others would ignore our pleas.
Pride is not something I allow myself to feel often because I typically tell myself that what I did could have been done better or that my part was not significant enough, but this past weekend, with my Not-So-Happy Fact, I spread a message of awareness. I spread a message for girls and women who could not spread their message themselves. I shared the stage this weekend with dozens of girls who were responsible for spreading more messages, some light-hearted and some deeply serious, but all important. I am proud to say I was a part of it.
I am very much aware of what makes me feel better and what makes me feel worse. Rehearsals for the Vagina Monologues always made me feel better, even when I hadn’t thought my day hadn’t been going that badly. The women I met there lifted my spirits and gave me a sense of purpose, something I will always be grateful for.
My purpose in this story is, hopefully, to inspire you to find your own “Vagina Monologues.” You may already have this in your small group of friends or in your leadership position of a club. That is great, and I am happy for you for having that. For those who don’t, push yourself, and you will find one. I am not saying everyone needs a spiritual-like awakening similar to what I had, but I am saying that everyone deserves to feel beautiful and important. Find a place where you feel that, and let yourself live in it. Let that place or those people become a part of you. I promise, it’ll make your day.