Kaitlyn Kupiec
@kaitlynkupiec
Ah, dating apps – the ones that promise your soulmate is just a swipe away.
While the concept may sound tempting, diving finger-first into the unpredictable world of online dating may not always lead you to a fulfilling feeling – or even a real relationship. Sometimes that quest for love can feel more like a circus act you never signed up for.
First come the profile pictures. I can’t be the only one who believes that dating apps are filled with magicians who have the ability to transform from a regular-looking human into a professional model. Brace yourself for when you discover that if your profile photo doesn’t scream “aspiring runway model,” your chances of finding a match are about as likely as discovering Bigfoot in New York City. I’m certain we’ve all encountered someone whose dating profile photo could easily be on the cover of Vogue magazine, only to discover they’re a catfish.
Then come the bios – tiny boxes where we’re supposed to encapsulate our entire existence into a few sentences. We’ve all come across the classics: “I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners and watching movies.” Spoiler alert: You’re not setting yourself apart. As a woman, I’ve encountered numerous bios proudly proclaiming, “My entire personality is that I’m 6-foot-3.” Here’s a newsflash, Chad: I know you’re not actually 6-foot-3.
Now, let’s not forget about the swiping part. It’s addicting. You never know if your next swipe will be an absolute heartthrob like Ryan Gosling or Megan Fox. The problem with swiping is that after you do it over 100 times, you’ve hit your allowance for the day. Then you have to wait 12 hours for your swipes to renew, unless you want to pay for a premium subscription. Can you believe Tinder Plus is $7.99 a month, Tinder Gold is $24.99 a month and Tinder Platinum is $29.99 a month? I guess if you believe money can’t buy love, the basic Tinder is free, but you’re not even getting close to finding the love of your life without Tinder Platinum.
Then come the conversations – or the awkward small talk. Should pineapple on pizza be a deal-breaker? Are hot dogs a sandwich? Let’s be real, those things shouldn’t define our relationships. The best part is trying to find which emoji fits the awkward conversation. My go-to is definitely the laughing face. Whether you’re sharing a funny story or pretending to laugh at a joke that’s not actually funny, the laughing face always gets the job done.
Then comes the actual date – if you even get that far. Meeting someone from a dating app is like unwrapping a gift; there’s a mix of excitement, curiosity and a hint of nervousness about what’s inside. Will the person actually match their profile picture, or will they walk in looking like someone you’ve never seen before? Along with the nervous laughter, the suspense is real. After you’ve taken an hour to decipher which outfit you’re wearing, your date somehow shows up wearing a Miami Dolphins t-shirt after he said he was a Buffalo Bills fan. By the end, you’re left wondering if you just experienced a romantic comedy or an episode of 90 Day Fiancé.
The world of dating apps might leave you with more stories than actual successful dates. Personally, I believe love is best found face-to-face in the real world, not on a dating app. Until then, keep swiping, hoping that one day your thumb will land on the jackpot – or at least someone who agrees that pineapple should be on pizza.
Photo Courtesy of Shutterstock