Contributing Writer/Copy Editor
We all have moments of self-confidence and self-consciousness. Some of those most powerful moments can occur during sex.
I surveyed some of my peers, and by “surveyed,” I mean I sent a text to a few friends asking what they think about during sex. A couple of those friends asked a few of their friends, and I got a variety of responses.
From the guys, a lot of them were either concerned with how their partner was feeling or they were confident in their performances. One dude-bro even remarked, “I wonder if she would be chill if I ordered Domino’s right now?” I appreciated this kid’s honesty.
Girls, on the other hand, generally seemed to feel more self-conscious. A few mentioned the fear of judgement by their partners, either based on their physical appearance, experience, or skill in a particular position. A girl friend of mine said a common thought of hers is, “Am I doing this right?”
When asked about their thoughts on their partners, girls mostly agreed that size does not actually matter. According to one female, “You could have a dude with a really big [penis] and he doesn’t know how to use it, so then the sex isn’t good. But you could have a guy with a not-so-big [penis] and the sex is great.”
Judgement was a common thread throughout the responses from my peers, and a few admitted that the judgement has an effect on their performances. One friend of mine connected judgement by her partner to the feelings of nervousness during sex. The first time sleeping with someone is always nerve-wracking, but a consistent feeling of nervousness every time you sleep with the same person must take some fun out of the session, right?
If the person you are sleeping with gives you any inclination that you should feel self-conscious, then maybe you are sleeping with the wrong person. Your partner has a responsibility to make you feel good in every way possible, both physically and mentally. And by the way, several guys also commented that a common thought of theirs during sex is, “Oh my god, I’m having sex,” so that should help.
You’ve heard it before, “Confidence is key,” so why don’t we have more of it? Our thoughts during sex should be more about how great it feels and less about the stretch marks on our sides or the size of our body parts. So I say go out there, and feel confident knowing that you are rocking your partner’s world, every time.