Op-Eds Opinion

SC Sexpert: Dealing with Feelings

With another week behind us, we are that much closer to my favorite holiday - Valentine’s Day of course! This is a day that fully celebrates love and intimacy, and for people who don’t do that every day like I do, it is a very special occasion. Interestingly enough, there are many misconceptions about this glorious day. For one, Valentine’s Day didn’t start off being overly romantic. It actually started off as a massacre. But, don’t let me bore you with historical facts. More realistic myths affect our social understanding of this holiday as a whole.

Editor’s Note: This is a weekly column series by an anonymous Springfield College student. To reach the writer, contact The Springfield Student at thescstudent1910@gmail.com.

sexpert logoWith another week behind us, we are that much closer to my favorite holiday – Valentine’s Day of course! This is a day that fully celebrates love and intimacy, and for people who don’t do that every day like I do, it is a very special occasion. Interestingly enough, there are many misconceptions about this glorious day. For one, Valentine’s Day didn’t start off being overly romantic. It actually started off as a massacre. But, don’t let me bore you with historical facts. More realistic myths affect our social understanding of this holiday as a whole.

For one, many people tend to think that only long time couples can partake in the festivities. FALSE! Valentine’s Day can be a special time for anybody who is willing to appreciate it. Friends, families, couples, hook ups, even “hooneymooners” (people in the stage of their relationship that compares to the honeymoon stage; always holding hands and saying, “No, I love YOU more!” Cue the barfing). But what if you love this holiday so much, you want to spend it with two different people? (Shout out to the reader who wrote in and asked me on how to deal with multiple people relationships!)

Well, I took a poll and asked students what they thought about someone seeing two different people at once. Want to know the verdict? Well the results are in, and the Sexpert DOES NOT CARE!

Don’t let others make you feel bad for having feelings for more than one person. We are of a higher, more passionate breed, and dating polygamy style isn’t exactly encouraged by our peers. Follow these easy steps, and you’ll be on the path to success in no time.

1) Have an end goal in mind. If you plan on keeping this “sister wives” act up, you have to be fair and tell the other parties involved. If you think you’re truly soul searching, try your best to make a decision as soon as you can. The most important part? Don’t try and fool yourself that there is any in between. You either want to be in a relationship, or you don’t. Either option is completely fine, but if you’re going to have two (or more, you dog!) people playing along, you need to pick a side. If all you’re looking for is a good time, continue seeing as many people as you want. Go townhouse to townhouse for all I care! This is college, and it’s a rare opportunity to be surrounded by so many attractive people your age. But on the flip side (because there is always a flip side), if you begin to notice feelings for either party, take a step back. Try and figure out what these feelings mean, which leads me to my next point.

2) Enjoy your time with both people, taking each of them seriously. So what if you’re dating both a lacrosse player and an Art Therapy major? I’m sure you’ve found things in both of them that you like. But, because there are those things that you like about them, you’re going to develop feelings for both of them. And don’t try to feed me the, “Oh there are no feelings, it’s strictly physical” line, because who is the real Sexpert here? No matter what kind of relationship you’re involved in, there is some level of feeling for the person you’re with. If you weren’t physically or emotionally attracted to them, there wouldn’t be any conundrum to ponder. Because of these feelings, do your best to respect anyone and everyone that you decide to mingle with.

3) Lastly, if you’re trying to be secretive about it, BE SECRETIVE ABOUT IT! I’m not even sure why I have to include this, but apparently people don’t understand that if you want something to be a secret, you can’t go around telling everyone about it. I know, I know, you’re SO excited that you get to hang out with this amazing new person, but maybe don’t tell everyone about it, and then no one will know? Just a thought. Because I am willing to bet if partner A hears about partner B from anyone but you, you will have to C yourself out of both hook-ups, and we all know that one is the loneliest number. Until next time, my sexy readers.

XOXO,

SC Sexpert

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