Op-Eds Opinion

Love, Sex, and No Relationships~ Coping with the One that Got Away

Does anyone else have someone that you know isn’t good for you anymore, but you have the smallest glimmer of hope still inside of you that thinks things will work out someday? You know who I’m talking about.

Jackie Imondi
Copy Editor/Contributing Writer

 

 

 

LSNRDoes anyone else have someone that you know isn’t good for you anymore, but you have the smallest glimmer of hope still inside of you that thinks things will work out someday? You know who I’m talking about. The person that made you cry yourself to sleep or punch a hole through a wall. The person that you text when you’re not so sober and the night is almost over. The person that your mind shifts to immediately upon hearing a song he introduced you to. The person you think of when you drive by the place she once brought you to because it’s her favorite view of the city. The person you picture yourself holding when you see a happy couple laughing and embracing each other the same way you two did when you were happy, too.

For some of us that have that one person, the relationship was great until it wasn’t and everything just fell apart. For others, things never really got to the point of being able to work out, so you now don’t know how to refer to a really happy time in your life that you spent with a wonderful person that was never really yours. It’s a gray area, and it almost feels like you can’t be sad about it because it was never real.

We’ve all fallen, too hard and too fast. But most of us would probably say it was worth it. And for those who wouldn’t, I am going to ask you to try, try to find the worth in the heartbreak. Love can be great, but it can also hurt. Take the parts that made you feel like your insides were going to explode and learn from those moments.

Don’t, though, try to find the parts of yourself that you should change in order to keep someone around; I would never ask you to do that. Love is about adapting to one another, and you can’t do that if one of you isn’t being your truest self. You have to be fair.

What I want you to learn from those sleepless nights and swollen eyes is the ability to heal. Chances are you recovered from that heartbreak and have had several more since. They have all hurt, but you’ve been through the worst so now the rest have been and will be easier.

It’s okay to be happy or sad when thinking about past loves. Losing a love is a loss and needs to be grieved. However, the grief period must come to an end at some point. Now, I have no right to tell you at what point you should be “over it,” but I find that it helps to believe that you eventually will be over it, that the pain will end and it won’t hurt as much to hear his name or see another girl with her same hair color. But when you think about that one person, feel positive about it. Hold no grudges and free yourself from the pain that came along with the loss. Or perhaps take some advice from our new favorite Disney princess and “let it go.”

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