Last year in my Love, Sex, and No Relationships column, I wrote a bit about my take on hookup culture and friends with benefits. I’d like to approach that again but in reference to something a little different.
Recently, I was scrolling through Facebook when I stumbled upon an open letter to the “Netflix and Chill Generation.” Though I have not actively participated in this practice, I thought I would take a gander at the story anyway.
Throughout most of the piece, the author criticized people who use this as a tactic to have sex with someone. Eventually, she told girls that they are “too beautiful” to put up with a boy who wants to “Netflix and chill,” and she added that boys who do utilize such a practice should never expect any happiness in any relationship.
First off, let me just say this: Wanting only sex from a person is not a desire that is exclusive to boys and wanting a relationship from a person is not a desire that is exclusive to girls.
Girls like sex and boys like being in relationships. I would like to put an end to that stereotype right now.
With that said, in my opinion, you all are more than welcome to pursue sex from someone you’re attracted to, and/or to pursue a relationship with that person. If you want one thing and don’t want the other thing, then that’s okay. Just stand your ground and make sure the other person in the twosome is aware of your desires.
Most of my issue with the column I had read came from the shaming the author did. Why are we still living in a day and age where girls who want sex are “easy” and boys who want sex are “players”?
But why also do we live in a world where there are extremists who consider girls who want sex as “liberated” while the boys who want sex are called “misogynistic”?
It can go both ways, and one person is no better or worse than another person who wants something different. We all have our needs and have every right to have those needs be met in safe and trusting environments.
I will admit that what irks me about “Netflix and chill” is the complete laziness of it. Now, I’m not saying you need to take your date out for a seven course meal to get some sex after, but going out on a date rarely hurts people. Netflix and chill is a fine code word for when you just want to have sex with someone, and as long as you’re both on board with that, then I don’t see the problem.
Then again, do whatever you want anyways, it’s your (sex) life, I’m just talking about it.