Op-Eds Opinion

The Art of Sexiling

(Graphic by Nick Lovett/The Student)
(Graphic by Nick Lovett/The Student)

Editor’s Note: This is the second in a weekly column series by an anonymous Springfield College student. To reach the writer, contact The Springfield Student at thescstudent1910@gmail.com.

Have you ever heard of a “Catch 22?” Well, its exact definition is: “a dilemma or difficult circumstance from which there is no escape because of mutually conflicting or dependent conditions.” But for the sake of my column, let’s just define it as “getting screwed from both sides!”

An absolute perfect example of this is the art of sexiling. For those of you who don’t know what sexiling is, let’s review.

It’s Friday night. You and your roommate have spent all afternoon lounging around deciding either what to wear or where to go. After spending a couple of hours at the Townhouses, you see that your roommate has started getting cozy with the cutie she has been sexting for quite some time now. Once you realize the situation is safe, you let them be and continue on with your fabulous self. You turn around and realize they’re gone.

After going to voicemail on your roommate’s phone twice, you decide to head back to your room to make sure everything is OK. When you approach your room, you hear loud music and find that the door is locked. Well, my sexy friends, head down to the lounge and get ready to camp out, because you’ve just been sexiled.

Let’s face it: chances are you’ve probably been on both sides of that door before. And let’s be honest, one side is WAY more fun than the other. But I believe that knowing this is key information. If we keep in mind how much fun that one side of the door is, we will probably be more willing to stay on the other side of the door every now and again. I have some tips to turn sexiling into a more positive outcome for both roommates.

Tip No. 1: Remember that this room belongs to the both of you! We’re all in college now, so let’s be honest with ourselves. We all have needs (no matter how crazy they may be), and needs must be fulfilled. Work on sharing the room space between the two of you.

Tip No. 2: Plan ahead! Don’t be the person who texts your roommate to leave the room as you’re walking home with a new love interest. Try as hard as possible to give your roommate at least a couple hours in advance to get their things together and find a place to occupy themselves for the next couple of hours.

Tip No. 3: Be reasonable. Don’t expect your roommate to get up and leave for you every night. You’re lucky to be getting lucky that often, but come on now. Your room is where you live. It isn’t reasonable to ask your roommate to leave his or her shared room for your sexual desires every night.

Tip No. 4: Have a code word. If you’re hanging out in your room with that new cutie from your math class, and suddenly the mood strikes (because sometimes it only takes one look), have a code word prepared in advance with your roommate. It should be something that can easily be worked into conversation without bluntly stating the obvious and making the situation awkward for all parties involved.

If the above four tips are followed, it will show proper respect for your roommate, and allow you to fully focus on enjoying your turn on the fun side of the door! Until next, time my sexy readers.


SC Sexpert

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