Editor’s Note: This is the third in a weekly column series by an anonymous Springfield College student. To reach the writer, contact The Springfield Student at firstname.lastname@example.org
Springfield College is well-known for its athletes, and even non-athletes keep the Wellness Center at full capacity. In most cases (especially pertaining to my column), physical activity is encouraged. But there is one type of exercise that is more usually frowned upon – the walk of shame. Just to clarify, a walk of shame is known as the walk one takes out of a love interest’s room, most often the next morning, and at Springfield College, most often out of Alumni.
Unfortunately, my sexy friends, the definition is the only simple thing about this scenario. One messy factor people tend to forget is that we are a school of athletes, and all athletic events have spectators. The walk of shame is no different. When considering whether or not to put yourself in this position, remember: when you get up the next morning to walk back to your dorm, there will typically be anywhere from a dozen to a hundred people walking around campus, and we will see you. We are not 5-years-old anymore, and we know that looking at the ground isn’t going to make us invisible.
Another harsh reality of the situation is the privacy issue. To say that girls in weekend night attire are easily spotted is an understatement. But to say that girls in night attire are easily spotted at 9:30 in the morning is the understatement of the century. If a girl is pulling her dress down all night while she’s out, imagine how far down she wishes she could pull her dress on the walk back to her dorm. On top of that, if you think girls can’t walk in heels when they’re out, just wait until you see them struggling to run back to their dorm room the next morning.
These aren’t the only obstacles one will encounter when committing a walk of shame. Not only will you wake up to someone you may or may not remember, but you will also get the pleasure of waking up next to the roommate! And the worst part is, that is the safest place you can possibly be in this situation. Because as soon as you open that door, you have an entire hallway with people walking around, and then staircases, and then the wide-open campus. Chances are, you’re still wearing your sexy outfit from last night. No, your dress doesn’t make you look fat, but the mascara running down your face isn’t helping you much.
So, as the year goes on, and the freshmen from Massasoit Hall gather outside the dorm to watch these walks of shame, let’s all remember one thing: these girls have feelings too. Springfield College is a campus that should prize itself on valuing equality. There is no place for stereotypical attitudes or sexism about the hook-up culture.
No matter what girls are wearing, or what time of day they’re leaving, let’s do our best to encourage sex equality, because we don’t want to sexclude women. It isn’t fair that the girl leaving gets called a “slut,” and the boy walking her out gets a hallway full of high fives from his bros. That is old-fashioned thinking, and quite frankly insulting to all women and also men who do not act in this manner.
I’m not saying to parade around Abbey Green in your birthday suits, but let’s all try our best to not discriminate or judge these girls who are only enjoying their favorite side of the door. Because honestly, isn’t that everyone’s favorite side? Until next time my sexy readers.